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If someone says, “I am angry”, you would reply with, “So what I am hearing is that you are angry.”Ĭovey calls this minimalistic communication. Mimicking is a taught practice of active listening that repeats back to a person what they said. Simply because Covey starts off belittling the commonly thought effective communication method of mimicking. “This principle is the key to effective interpersonal communication” (p. 5. Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood You have to water the flowers you want to grow” (p. If you put good people in bad systems, you get bad results. “So often the problem is in the system, not in the people. The basic principle: Seek mutually beneficial outcomes. This is the easiest of the 7 Habits to grasp. “Win/Win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions” (p. The more we maximize our time on the important non-urgent the more we prevent the unimportant and decrease the possibility of urgent crisis. The Important Urgent and Non-Urgent things, with 80% of our time spent on the Important Non-Urgent. The key is to live in the first two quadrants. The Urgent and Non-Urgent, with the Important and Not Important. Inside this chapter, Covey breaks up activities into four different quadrants. Habit 3 could be best summarized with Nike’s slogan.īut don't just do anything. But I agree with Covey, without personal independent will resolved toward daily action, our desired goals will likely dissipate into wishful new years resolutions. Habit 3 is the self-conscious will to apply Habits 1 & 2 into daily life.ĭreamers like me hate Habit 3. “Habit 3… it’s the exercise of the independent will toward becoming principle centered” (p. Having a mission statement lets a person being with the end goal in mind. This can be for your family, church, school, organization, or business. Time is something we never really want to give a lot of but is critical to intentional living.Ĭovey argues to take time crafting a one-sentence fully encompassing mission statement. So how does one begin with the end in mind? Well, it takes time. “Efficient management without effective leadership is, as one individual phrased it, “like straightening deck chairs on the Titanic.” No management success can compensate for failure in leadership.” Management is down and in whereas leadership is up and out. I like how Covey makes a distinction between management and leadership. Simply put, before you start running you need to know where you are going. The first time is when the idea is formed in your mind, and the second is when it is actualized.
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98).īeginning with the end in mind is based on the principle that everything is created twice. “It is possible to be buys-very busy-without being very effective” (p. Proactive people understand what is in their Circle of Influence and don’t dwell on what is not. “We are responsible for our own effectiveness, for our own happiness, and ultimately, I would say, for most of our circumstances” (p. The way to build a beautiful architectural masterpiece starts with the foundation.
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Be honest with yourself and your surroundings. It encompasses only the things that you can directly control, change, or affect. If people can look outside of themselves and think about who they are, what they are doing, and why they are doing it, then they have taken their first steps in identifying their Circle of Influence.įor Covey, the Circle of Influence is defined intuitively. Covey makes the argument that true proactivity protrudes from self-awareness. While this first habit sounds more like a command than a principle, it finds its roots in self-awareness. “Proactive people focus their efforts in the Circle of Influence” (p. Instead, I will summarize for you the 7 Habits, their application, and finish with a comment on the idea of “effectiveness.” 1. This book is too monstrous and prolific for me to offer a critical review. Like Peterson, Covey takes his observations of humanity throughout the ages, including religious beliefs, and synthesizes those lessons into 7 principles (or habits) that will lead toward increasing one's "effectiveness" throughout life. While 7 Habits is significantly less philosophical and heady, it wouldn't surprise me in the least to find out that Covey's work had a significant impact on the thinking of Peterson. After reading 7 Habits, I was struck by the similarities between Stephen Covey and Jordan Peterson, author of 12 Rules for Life.